Bạn đang xem: How to be friends with benefits — the kind & healthy way
Landis Bejar is a new york State Licensed Mental Health Counselor và the founder of AisleTalk: Consultation & Therapy.
Are you wondering what “friends with benefits” actually means? Perhaps you’ve heard the term come up in movies và TV shows, or have seen the acronym FWB và were unsure what kind of relationship that was. Maybe you are simply trying khổng lồ determine if it’s the right situation for you. Whatever the case may be, in order to lớn make a friends-with-benefits relationship work, it’s important khổng lồ understand what this kind of casual connection truly means và entails.
A friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship is one in which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet they’re not committed to each other in any way. People involved in a friends-with-benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together, but their relationship isn’t romantic & has no strings attached.
Is a Friends-With-Benefits Relationship Right for You?
If you’re thinking about entering into a friends-with-benefits relationship, there are a few key points that’ll help you determine if a casual connection is truly beneficial for you in every respect.
Why Friends With Benefits Works for Some People
Having no strings attached—as in the lack of emotional commitment, emotional investment, or both formal and informal obligations of a relationship—can be alluring khổng lồ people for different reasons. People who have a preference for non-monogamous relationships và those who don"t have the time for or an interest in the emotional efforts or time commitment of a traditional relationship might prefer a FWB scenario. Someone who has had negative experiences in past relationships and isn"t ready to xuất hiện up emotionally can benefit from the physical benefits of FWB relationships without sacrificing their sense of safety in non-commitment. Individuals that identify as aromantic or have no interest in romantic attraction may also be drawn lớn these relationships, as would those already in open romantic relationships only seeking khổng lồ fulfill sexual needs.
When lớn Avoid Friends-With-Benefits Relationships
Don"tagree lớn a FWB relationship because it’s the only thing that your potential partner is willing to lớn do. In order to lớn avoid heartache in the future, you have khổng lồ fully understand what you’re signing up for in the present, so that this relationship doesn’t leave you feeling unfulfilled or unimportant.While it’s certainly possible for a FWB relationship to lớn transition into something more over time, you’re likely heading for heartbreak if this is your goal from the outset. Và if this casual connection prevents you from pursuing a committed relationship that you see for yourself in the long term, your FWB connection may mix you back romantically.
Tips for a Healthy Friends-With-Benefits Relationship
If you want to lớn be friends with benefits with someone, it’s important that you enter into this kind of relationship with fullunderstanding & acceptance of what this means for both of you. This person isn’t your S.O., and this can have both its advantages as well as disadvantages depending upon your current wants and needs. It’s important to recognize that this person isn’t going to lớn be able lớn provide you with the emotional support and care that are typically demonstrated by a partner in a committed relationship. That may include more intimate activities, such as crying on their shoulder, attending family events, or going on a formal date. To lớn keep the peace and avoid disappointment, mix expectations from the start và keep the conversation open and ongoing to lớn ensure you"re both on the same page.
set Ground Rules & Boundaries
In order for a FWB relationship khổng lồ work out, it has lớn fulfilleveryone"s expectations.You may enjoy being intimate, but these types of relationships can only be successful if you’re both completely content with the arrangement. As with any sexual interaction, keep an xuất hiện dialogue about what sexual behaviors are accepted và what are off-limits. Mutual consent should never take a backseat regardless of how casual a fling may be. Similarly, if you have a platonic relationship outside the bedroom, you will need to lớn set clear guidelines for how you will interact—if at all—when not between the sheets.
Communicate Thoroughly
When you enter into a FWB relationship, you should discuss the nature of your connection openly và honestly right from the start và continue khổng lồ have that xuất hiện line of communication throughout the duration of your relationship. To avoid confusion, hurt feelings, & misread signals, you should be totally forthright and in complete accord with each other about the nature of the relationship & be forthcoming if anything has changed for you.
Agree on Duration
Agreeing on the duration of your FWB relationship from the outset will save you from any painful or awkward moments later on. Come lớn a mutual decision on the length of this relationship, whether it"s for a certain amount of time or set khổng lồ terminate once one of you finds a long-term connection. Also discuss the possibility of dissolving the relationship without any hard feelings if one of you feels it"s just not a good emotional or lifestyle fit. For instance, if your FWB relationship makes you happy in the moment but then later fills you with regret và disappointment, it’s not the right choice for you, and you should be able to lớn have that honest conversation (and exit strategy) with your FWB partner.
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Be Clear About Additional Casual Sexual Partners
If you’re thinking about entering a FWB relationship, it’s important khổng lồ keep in mind that your connection isn’t a monogamous one. In fact, either of you is miễn phí to date more people, have other FWB relationships, and/or play the field as much as you’d like. In addition to protecting your physical health, it’s important that you protect your emotional health by understanding that your FWB relationship can over at any time and for any reason.You may agree to lớn discuss other partners with one another or choose to lớn not know the details. Either way, both of you need lớn set parameters around the use of protection & getting tested regularly for STIs.